To the parents of a newly diagnosed autistic child:

Dear Parent,

We welcome you with open arms. We’re here to listen and to support you in any way we can. You’re not alone on this journey of learning about and understanding autism. While this path will be different and not easy at times, we can assure you the joyful experiences and happy moments will outweigh the difficult ones. Just like a neurotypical life that’s full of ups and downs, the neurodivergent path will include its own ups and downs, but the truth is: it's going to be okay, but it will take time.

An autism diagnosis can provide clarity and at the same time, a wave of new emotions. The unknown is often unsettling. It can spark feelings of confusion, grief and/or depression. Despite our instincts to avoid it, embracing the grief process is essential for healing and growth. It can lead to emotions tied to loss or fear. It might feel like your heart and mind are at war with each other multiple times a day. Looking in the mirror and asking yourself if you've done something wrong or if you could have done something different - it's not abnormal. Feeling overwhelmed and numb, seemingly at the same time - it's not uncommon. Watching your child develop differently than others and feeling guilty about how it makes you feel - it's not irrational. Experiencing waves of emotions, especially during milestone moments like birthdays or holidays - it's not unrealistic. These are common questions, feelings and emotions a parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child goes through. It doesn't make you a bad parent whatsoever, it makes you a concerned and caring parent.

Every parent wants their child to grow up to be smart, kind and healthy. Yet, an autism diagnosis can shake those expectations and deliver a question mark instead. Altering those expectations can be really hard. It can be devastating. It can be trying. It can be grief-filled. It can feel unfair. And it can feel lonely. We know that space and have been where you are. We understand because we have worn similar shoes. At Positive Development, we aren't just clinicians and paraprofessionals; we are parents of autistic children. We are adults with autism ourselves. Above all, we are transparent and accepting, willing to help you maneuver, adjust, understand and empower you through the up's and down's alike. It may not happen overnight, in a week's time, or even months.

Amongst endless responsibilities, a parent is generally tasked with nourishing, educating, encouraging and creating a safe environment for a child to grow. There are countless variations in how this unfolds, but fundamentally, each of us has a mental framework guiding our parenting. We may parent in the same ways we were parented. We may facilitate ourselves in ways that we learned from mentors, counselors or another trusted source. What happens when that framework doesn't align with current-state parenting and the needs of your newly diagnosed child?

What happens when what we were taught or learned from others about parenting doesn’t work with our child? The short answer is this: parents must learn to reframe their parenting to better align with the style and needs of their child. This is especially true for children with any type of diagnosis. It is oftentimes the reframing of parenting that causes internal conflict. Rest assured, it's not abnormal to wrestle with this. What you once imagined parenthood to be, now appears different and involves unfamiliar variables. This journey will require a shift in how you parent.

We commonly get asked the question: Is my autistic child going to be okay? Our answer is ALWAYS. Your child already IS okay. They've been okay. They simply require different approaches to learn and socialize. This is the beginning of a special journey of empowerment, adaptability and growth that is tailored to your child. They're okay, and in the process, you're going to learn how to be the best resource as a parent. It may be clunky and different than you anticipated, but It's perfectly okay for your parenting journey and your child's growth to look a bit more innovative.

Please know that we are here for you - to support, to answer questions, to listen, to collaborate, and to dream. We're not just offering autism therapy for children; we're here to support entire families, including you. You're not alone - we believe in you and your child.

Consider us part of your autistic family!
Best Regards,